It must be that time of year again. As you know I’ve been pretty much attending this beginner’s service every Saturday at my synagogue. As of late, I’ve become a little lax and haven’t been showing up on time (if at all). I started asking myself why, and the more I think about it, the more ephemeral a lot of what I’m doing seems. I’m not a Moses, and to the best of my knowledge I’ve never had a conversation with G-d. I can’t see him, I can’t taste him, and to be honest, I have difficulty feeling him (in any sense of the word). How can I be sure he sees me? And, what difference is the fact that I’m attending services make to him? I’m not throwing in the towel, but would appreciate any motivational words of encouragement.

Sincerely, Questioning my beliefs

Dear David,

Join the club! As someone who has been attending prayer services three times a day for many years, and trying to make most of praying at the times when services are being held, I can empathize with your doubts. And if we’re going to be honest with each other, let me say that it’s not just prayer. Every single commandment a Jew performs that does not have a relatively immediate earthly visible effect is open to the question of whether Hashem is aware of what is being done, and whether it matters. But, fear not! As we learn in this week’s Torah portion, the Big Guy is not just aware of what’s going on in the world; He is personally paying attention to all that we do.

Hashem instructs Moses and Aaron as to how the final plague will be carried out and how they and the Jewish people should conduct themselves. Rashi asks a profound question regarding the instruction to take the blood of the Paschal lamb and place it on the side of the doorposts of the houses in which Jewish people are living. Why does Hashem indicate that through this act, He will see the blood and thereby be able to distinguish between an Israelite and an Egyptian? Doesn’t Hashem see everything? Of course he does, answers Rashi. G-d is telling us that He is taking note that we are occupied in the performance of His commandments. And because we are, He will pass over us when he comes to slay the firstborn Egyptians.

While I cannot strengthen your belief in Hashem, since a great deal of that comes from within, I can say that through practicing the commandments and learning and seeking to understand the Torah, rather than just reading the Torah, one’s sense of the Almighty’s presence is heightened.

Imagine that you have an infection. Something bothers you and you just don’t feel right. You see the doctor and she prescribes an antibiotic. You take this for a few days and forget about it. In a short while you feel better. And by the time that occurs, you’re up and running, feeling great, and certainly not conscious of how the antibiotic worked on your system. Wouldn’t it have been a disservice to have discontinued the medicine after four hours of taking it, simply because you didn’t feel better?

Have you ever heard of the benefits of a low cholesterol diet? Folks who have suffered a heart attack that can be traced to elevated blood cholesterol levels are very sensitive to these benefits. They usually can be seen "enjoying" a new diet that, in and of itself, would not necessarily be described as a delicious or yummy. But if you ever catch up with one of those people 25 years later, after they’ve danced at a couple of their kids’ weddings and have been enjoying the benefits of a physically improved lifestyle for all those previous years, what do you think they would tell you about their low cholesterol diet?